EPT
(note: thanks for instantbunz' post in the iloveOOvinterview thread here for motivating me to do this)
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I have only just returned back to Seoul after the final and the afterparty. Because I have a game today I didn't drink alcohol but still for some reason my mind is a little dizzy...
In looking forward to the Ever SL finals, there was alot of psychological battle between me and Choi, Yun-sung (OOv)... We both know the TvT game and so we both looked for solutions to this matchup, knowing what we both know. [OOv's] solution was to shift his tech first, expand quickly and safely, and then outproduce cloaking wraiths. I chose cloaking wraiths and then after confirming my opponent's tech, to respond appropriately. With regard to this first puzzle I think I was more successful in my answer.
But I still lost... why did I lose...
I didn't stay as nervous and alert as I should have but during the game I wasn't able to concentrate well... it was chaotic. In sum, when I look at my own play I cannot be satisfied at all...
After the 5th game was over I couldn't bear to stand in front of people. How long did I wait for this final... and I thought that the gamers who practiced with me must be looking at me and be looking down on me. I was so embarrassed in front of the other gamers in the Starleague... my parents who had prayed for me so sincerely... and to you fans who had cheered for me...
Although I was able to congratulate [OOv], I couldn't control those other thoughts and I made an embarrassing scene... I made a scene that may have made even my congratulations to [OOv] seem like a lie... And I made it so that the joy of victory could not help but be stunted during the award ceremony... I felt that I am such a bad sunbae [sunbae = senior]... and I'm regretting it.
In the future I won't show this kind of image.
Runner up... in the past I would not have thought this way... but if I think now... runner up is also a great achievement. Although I wasn't in the end able to win, I think I showed my best efforts in every game.
Today, in the afterparty, many people came and consoled and congratulated me. Before I went to the afterparty I really had not an ounce of strength and I had nothing to say whatsoever... Going to the afterparty was always difficult for me in the past... but after going to the afterparty I felt stronger I think for the first time ever... It wasn't difficult all the way through and my mouth which had been closed was opened again... I thought to myself that I must again run foward... If I keep running like that then someday I will be able to fly again...
While I have the will... and while there are people who support me... victory will continue...
P.S. I want to again congratulate [OOv] for his victory. Also, everyone who came to cheer for me, must have been through alot to come. Thank you very much.
